So here I am. Forty-ish. Hot flashes on shuffle. Sleep is a rumor, and my one-year-old has decided now is the perfect time to start screaming for fun. This is not a drill. This is my life.
The Plot Twist Nature Never Warned Me About
Nobody tells you that perimenopause and toddlerhood can overlap. You think you've got a 20-year gap, right? Wrong. It's like Mother Nature looked at me and said, "Let's just layer these life stages on top of one another, and let's see what kind of black hole we can open."
So now I'm simultaneously:
- Sweating through my shirt while trying to put pants on my toddler.
- Crying over a sentimental commercial while my toddler cries over the fork I won't allow her to stick in the outlet.
- Googling "perimenopause symptoms" while also Googling "why is my toddler's poop a weird shade of tan?"
The Hormonal Hunger Games
Toddlers are unpredictable. So is perimenopause. Put them together, and it's basically The Hunger Games but with more snacks.
- Toddler meltdown at Walmart? Check.
- Mommy meltdown at Walmart because she's standing in the freezer aisle, freezer door open because she's having a hot flash? DOUBLE CHECK.
At this point, the employees just walk by me, nodding their heads in pity; they've seen me before.
Sleep? We don't know her.
A typical night:
- 12 AM: Toddler wakes for the first time.
- 1 AM: I awake in a sweat puddle.
- 2 AM: Toddler cries because the moon was too bright.
- 3 AM: I'm wide-awake, wondering if I returned a certain book in the fourth grade or if geese experience "goosebumps"?
- 5AM: Toddler raises up in her crib like a vampire would rise from their coffin.
- 7AM: Toddler and I are watching Bluey for the 587th time while sharing Fruit Loops from the box.
The Real Villain in This Story: My Body
Here's the thing: my body can't decide what season it's in. Is it fertility? Is it menopause? Is it pure hormonal rage? Meanwhile, my toddler's body is 100% committed to chaos. Together, we are practically a grenade about to explode.
But You Know What?
There's also magic. Tiny toddler kisses between hot flashes. Little hands patting me like, "You're doing great, mom." A sweet voice that calls out for "mama" reminds me of why I cherish every moment.
Final Thoughts:
Parenting a one-year-old while going through "the change" is proof that God has a sense of humor, and honestly? I laugh about it too...as soon as I stop crying.
To the new moms still figuring it out, and to the moms who thought they were finished, but now find themselves battling hot flashes and toddler tantrums, you belong here. Drop a comment with your stage of motherhood so we can remind each other that no matter where we are, we're all in the same village.
I've written my first children's book, Sophia and the Secret Garden, a whimsical, heartwarming story full of adventure, and the reminder that no matter how old you get, you are always a kid in the garden. You can find the book here: https://amzn.to/45oGZPN
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